My eyes burst open like two tiny volcanoes that had been bubbling with fear and anxiety all night.
When the heat got to be too much, and my lids couldn’t take the pressure, they burst, allowing flows of negative self confidence to ooze out.
If I don’t do something, the morose magma will harden, forming a new layer to shield me from my fears.
I thrust my covers off and swung my legs to the side of the bed. While leaping to the floor, I noticed my blanket resembles the discarded remains of once great super heroes. The irony isn’t lost on me. Nothing protects me from what I’m about to face.
I am already dressed for the occasion. In fact, I spent the better part of yesterday trying on various uniforms to aid me in my mission. There was the rain boots, my favorite dinosaur pajamas, and my bright yellow t-shirt that looks like a highlighter. I considered my Spiderman outfit and batman cape. However, I went with something simple, yet effective. My SpongeBob socks, the shorts with a bunch of pockets, and the t-shirt I wear when I go to soccer practice. I slipped on my velcro sneakers and headed off.
Traveling through the hallways of my humble abode the walls seemed to breathe with me. Each ragged breath I took in, the house expanded, each shaky breath out, it retracted. Step after step I forced myself forward. Mother asked me what I wanted for breakfast but I pushed past her. I knew if I so much as looked in her direction, I’d find myself belly up, crying, and telling her how scared I was. I will not be defeated.
I have waited my whole life for this. Each day my foe taunts me through the window. Flailing about in an unbashful display of unrequited arrogance. This thought propels me. I kick the back door open leaving it completely ajar. This is an intimidation technique I developed the night before. I will take whatever punishment comes for living in the proverbial barn. Right now my only focus lies ahead.
I swagger towards my foe with a gait that, to the well trained eye screams, I’M ABOUT TO CRAP MY PANTS! Fake it till you make it, I think.
Now we stand face to face, stuck in time as the world continues spinning on without us. The sun reaches its peak and falls and the clouds sluggishly float by like adolescent planet eating space slugs. It seems like days go by before I decide to make the first move.
“You’ve been taunting me for too long! Each day you set there outside my window. Fluttering and flowing through the breeze with no care in the world, while I, sit on the ground wondering what the world looks like from the sky. Today, I climb to the top of your branches and stand triumphantly upon your skeleton. I will see the whole world!” I emphatically scream.
All of a sudden I hear a low gravelly voice pipe up.
It sounds like the teeth of an old but faithful saw scraping rhythmically across a seasoned piece of hardwood. “I… am glad you’ve finally come.” It said with a warm and welcoming tone that slowly drawled on.
I could almost see its rosy cheeks and jolly smile amongst the ribs of its bark.
The wise and ancient tone sounded again, “You… are the child… of prophecy. I have been sent here to guide you on your journey. I am the tree of life!”
What is this guy talking about? I think to myself.
Almost as if it heard my inner thoughts the tree of life continued to scrape through his speech. “I am the tree of life! The bridge from the underworld to your world, then later, to what comes next. I provide life to your world. From my fruit you eat. In my branches you shelter. Upon my pages you print your knowledge. I heal you when you are sick and my body stands as a representation of what is valued.”
I sat stupefied continuing to listen.
“It is my job to keep balance between the three planes. I was entrusted with this mission long ago and have diverted catastrophes the likes you could not fathom.” The tree stated forebodingly.
“Once in a blue moon a child of prophecy is designated to help me watch over this world. One of pure heart and mind. Whose courage is unmatched and will is unbeaten. The fact that you stand before me today tells me you are that child!”
“So what does that mean for me?!” I nervously shout.
“You must only complete your mission, young one. With your help we can balance the heavens and prevent the worst cataclysm the universe has ever faced.” Said the tree of life.
I looked back towards the open door, half hoping that mother would pop her head out and demand that I atone for my barn door behavior. 1… 2… 3… No sign of her. I begrudgingly turn my head back which slowly creaks into place like a rusted kick stand.
“I guess I have no choice but to proceed with the mission.” I said to the tree. “What if I don’t want to?”
“Then your species will die and the world will restart.” Said the tree of life.
“But I’m only 8 years old! How could I save everyone?!” I retort.
“Yes young one! If it was up to me I would not pluck you so early from your mothers nourishing love. Yet this universe knows only survival.
The tree of life continued, “I will do as I have done so many times before and offer you the choice of walking away. However, I know your fate. You are an old friend after all. We spiral through space and time intertwining like the divine strands of a rope holding together the seams of reality. You are cursed to live with the weight of humanity on your shoulders, continuously cycling through death and rebirth. And I am the one which ferries you back and forth. Each time I offer you the chance to walk away and each time you stride towards the unknown. You are the eternal hero. You who have seen the worst and best that life has to offer humanity. You have been young, old, wise, dimwitted, rich, poor, loved and hated. Yet each time you do not falter in your drive to protect.”
The tree’s speech hit me like a dream that you’ve just recalled. Glimpses of long lost memories danced in my mind’s eye like an elusive ghoul.
“It’s good to see you old friend.” I said with quiet contentment.
I take one last look at the house which looks much more foreign and much less impressive than I remember. A tear trickles down my cheek as I think of mother continuing on without me. Turning around I steel myself for what’s to come.
I take off at a sprint towards the tree’s trunk then break right at the last moment. I’ve gone over this plan in my head a million times. Heading for the neighbors fence, I nimbly scale the chain link and bounce off the adjacent shed for stabilization of my ascent.
The first branch is there. I’ve pictured this moment so many times but never knew what to expect. Would I reach the branch and be able to pull myself up? Will I have to leap? It seems I’ve gotten taller, I think smugly as I grip the tree and hoist my legs up and into the branches.
It feels like something deep down inside of me is awakened. My ancestral primate takes over and I spiral around the tree, following the perfectly spaced branches like an abstract ladder. I turn back and realize that I can see the roof of my house. I’m looking down on it.
Something bubbles into my psyche.
A word doesn’t come close to accurately representing the feeling.
It’s as if nothing else in the world matters, while at the same time, wanting to run excitedly to the four corners of the globe, searching, watching, and observing.
It’s as if you understand that everything makes sense, but you understand none of it, and that’s okay.
It’s a union with the universe.
It’s a calming of the soul.
It’s a feeling of nothing left to be desired.
With contentment welling, I turn to head up the tree. Reaching for a branch to propel myself into further bliss, I carelessly grasp a twig and force my weight upward. Under the sudden added force the twig falters, jerking me towards reality. My heart drops for a split second until I feel a comforting force propel me via backside towards a safe and sturdy alternative. The support doesn’t stop there. As I climb the tree I begin to feel lighter and lighter. It feels less like climbing and more like flying now. I’ll accomplish the mission and save the world for mother and all the others, I think. Finally my head pops from the top of the leaves and into the delicate rolling expanse of a cloudy paradise.